So Much to Do and So Little Time to Say It.

So it's been ages since my last post. Well, other than that comic con link, which isn't really a post.

Let's get to business. Not much in terms of philosophy here to dish out. What I've been doing lately includes teaching myself Spanish, a new exercise regiment, and writing (boy do I have a story for this one).

Spanish is pretty straight forward. I want to learn it. Being it is my third time learning it, I'm hoping my desire for it, rather than the prerequisites that it fulfilled, will be the deciding factor in whether or not it sticks this time.

With the new exercise regiment, it's a 90 day deal which puts me to a 50min avg workout everyday, and has thus far kicked my ass. Within 4 days I've lost 1 belt notch, which puts me back to where I was most of my life--I wasn't that bad. I'm sure most of that notch was water weight, but I'm also sure at least a good portion of it was fat.

As for the writing. Well now...something I never saw myself doing is now something I'm near obsessed with. I say this with some reluctance, a whole lot of humility, and yet with a security in the knowledge that no one actually reads this blog...yet. I'm actually writing an erotica.

What do I consider "an erotica?" Well to paraphrase that without a euphemism, Erotica is essentially written porn. The internet is filled with porn but my problem with the majority of it is that it's simply trash. I know, I know: One man's trash... My point is I think it's trashy. With videos you get really aggressive/impersonal sex acts and girls I don't find attractive. Literature does away with the "unattractive girl" problem, as it leaves her looks up to my imagination. The trash on the other-hand, is still there to sift through; however, this is basically why I've decided to pick up setting my-own standard. My efforts are put into making it sexy (now there's a word I almost never use) as well as classy. In my head, that translates to a storyline that revolves around the sex, equally to sex that revolves around the story. Additionally, none of my characters keep to the over abundance of foul language used in most porn, written or "visual."

Now, don't get me wrong: this is still porn, so there will be a presence of cocks, cunts (I don't so much like the P word, but will occasionally use it due to the audience I'm writing for), and cumming in the story. That aside, I do everything I can to make this fantasy girl someone I could crush on if I am a reader, let alone if I lived in that reality. There is a certain kind and degree of a fetish involved (one must take care in how the word "fetish" is interpreted here, as I very deliberately use it with ambiguity), so it's not just simple couplings/flirtation, as that's too normal and in my eyes defeats the purpose of "fiction." With all of this considered, I think it's coming out to be quite the standout kind of erotic fiction, relatively speaking. We'll see how it's received by an audience once it's done.

Boy am I gonna get flack for this hobby if this blog ever gets read.

Before I go, I'd like to concede to not having learned my lesson from earlier, which is to put a little more effort into focusing myself and my development. It's a small tsk tsk on me, but right now I'm doing what feels right, and I'm happy with it so I'm gonna leave this at that.

Many Nights DTC,

Addison.

Speechless.

Okay, maybe not speechless so much as there isn't much to say here.

Really, I just wanted a record of this. Hot girls in video game/comic book attire.

But it's been a while since I've put anything up. Something is definitely coming soon.

Enough is enough.

Over the last half-year I've put too many things I love aside in the name of making money. However, I've been slowly resuming "me-time" again, and it feels great. Though one important part of my life is still absent from the picture...writing.

Blogs aren't good enough. They're great as a time capsule, but lack in spirit what I love about writing: Detachment.

There's 1 ugly problem to face though: things are too stable for me right now. For whatever reason creativity thrives in strife, and I've finally come to a point where I lack hardships. It's a hard thing to admit, but it's true.

Now, that's not to say things are easy for me, or that I'm living affluently...it's just that I've adapted to my new income to a point where I'm getting by on very little. My monthly "free spending" limit is $120.00, pretty small if I do say so myself. It's quite liberating in truth, but because all my essentials are being met, the hardest part of daily life is not spending past the allotted $120 dollars a month.

I guess the next struggle will be against stability. Pretty ironic I guess, but not surprising. What I need to learn now is how to inspire myself to create again, without the strife that once fueled those particular juices. Tonight I'm going to sit down and write. Here's to hoping it'll be as sweet as it was 9 months ago.

Many Nights DTC

Addison.

Left vs. Right or Left meet Right.

So it's been a while since I posted anything. But lately I've been kind of concerned about a few things, so I want to address one of them with some thoughts.

We live in a suuuuper divisive time right now. It's fairly depressing. I know these folks care about the country, as do I. However, we are unfortunately pitted against each other in a way that guts, are hated, bricks are thrown, and lies are weaved deep.

I am very generally left inclined. A liberal. But that doesn't mean I don't have, but more importantly recognize, any conservative values. Most notably, I believe in a Free Market and Competition. Without getting into an entire article detailing how I define those two terms, I also don't believe that "Free" and "Competition" entails allowing us to tear each other apart with lawyers and money as the weapon. I also recognize the inefficiency our government seems to exemplify. However, I don't think that means we just axe government programs (even the inefficient ones); we need to refine how the system is run (I won't go into the "how" now though as that is another article altogether).

For a long time now, I viewed republicans as the enemy; as the troop out for themselves, not the country; and as the group of people who wouldn't know an education if it fell into the back of their trucks. I mean, I always "knew" there were smart ones out there, but held the view that they were dominated by idiots.

Now I'm trying to refocus my thoughts on that ratio. Not because I don't think there are idiots that belong to the party, but because I don't think it's fair to judge the platform by the most radical voices under it. When I say radical, I don't mean in terms of ideology, I mean in terms of profile; that is to say that extreme idiots don't need to represent the rational thinkers. Here's why I needed to specify "radical." People like Ron Paul exist; and even though I understand his views may be a little extreme, as well as hard-right, I would almost definitely rather see him in office than most of the more mainstream Republicans. Hell, at this point, I'd rather give him a shot than I would many Democrats these days. Why? Because he's not bought, or a bot.

This brings me to the main point of this article. The real enemy is not the Right. Nor is my real ally the Left. The biggest threat to the United States' future actually exists within both parties and has a very secure seat where it lies. This threat is Corporatism. Special Interests. I don't know much about what to do about it, but I pretty firmly believe now that we have more trustworthy people residing in the radically positioned ideologies of either the Left or Right, than we do at the center of the spectrum.

I don't know if there's anything I can actually add at this point to further justify my point, so I'll just leave it there.

Many Nights DTC

Addison.

Survival of the Deepest.

How cool is this Los Angeles Times article? Apparently, people who are associated with deep confersations (I like that word better with an F) also tend to be happier. To everyone who ever whined about conversations that required sizable thought, TAKE THAT! I hereby condemn you to the lamer statistic; the boo hooers! Hehe. Speaking of "everyone who ever..." I kinda feel like I should put together a post saying all the things to all the people I never got to say "that one thing" to (note to self).

Okay on a more serious note. I liken this to a cat playing with all the wigglys out there. That is, a Cat has one thing it was well designed for: hunting. So naturally, even our domesticated ones love playing games that involve reflexes. They see something twitch, and BAM! Gotcha. People aren't too different. For many of us, enjoyment comes from doing something that requires skill to be good at, and of course different strokes will satisfy different folks: Fischer loved chess; Einstein had a thing for physics; and Achilles was great at..."wigglys."

Now, for the average person who can't go around being a one man army or paving the way to another dimension, engaging in the simple act of meaningful conversation is the least that can be done to exercise "purpose." Among the things I thrive off of are debate/conversation (the second being a less "intense" form of the first), and analyzing people/situations. It's fun. It's great to pick apart things and deconstruct. Of course, because most people don't enjoy participating in such things, I'm defaulted to doing my best work (analysis/deconstruction) alone *cough* blog *cough*. But when the chance comes for interaction of this kind, I pounce like a cat, because a degree of competition makes it all the sweeter.

I can only conclude by saying, I feel bad for all the cats in the world who have no wiggly prey to toy with.

Many Nights DTC!

Addison

What to do with Hypocracy?

The Los Angeles Times article I'm referring to is here.

I look around and see a group of people so twisted in their beliefs, that I'm torn between methods of handling the matters: do I view them derisively, or with humility? Deep down I know the answer is going to vary depending on a few factors. Some people respond differently to different forms of stimulation.

But seriously, how stupid is it to have people who, on the same sign are protesting against big government, and yet want the same government to work on getting them jobs? Are they really that dense? Can they not see the hypocrisy in such a demand? Of course they can't. They want their cake and to eat it too.

But my question is, how should I compose myself when considering these matters? These people are arguers of two minds, and are exactly why this country can't get its shit straight. While these folks go around protesting paradoxes, their Politicians are CRUSHING the people. I'm caught between wanting to hate them, and feeling bad for them. They are fucking me over after all too.

Where's my mistake? What am I doing wrong? Am I doing something wrong? I don't know, but I want to.

Many Nights DTC,

Addison.

Am I Losing Sight?

Sooo much to write on today, yet so little time. Although the news provides plenty, I'm going to go it old school and just talk about something that's recently crossed my mind.

Irish writer, and poet, Oscar Wilde's last words were, "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do." I always loved the passion behind these words, but never knew ('til now) the kind of circumstances that would encourage such whims.

Daily, I find myself surrounded by a roomscape of white, beige, and pale green walls. Looking around, I feel a hunger for texture as virtually all shapes are carved by straight, smooth lines. Squares and rectangles galore. The people are genuinely great, but I sometimes don't believe they exist here when even the oxygen seems to enough air. Were it not for a few potted plants, a faux fur jacket, and the occasional stack of inky paper, this would be purgatory.

The minds whose thoughts I most look up to cherished one thing above all in life; I'm going to short sell this precious notion by calling it variance. Understanding mutability for it's value echoes the spiritual equivalent of the Theory of Special Relativity. This is to say that we understand who we are, and what we are worth by observing our relation to the things in or life. If no change is present, than we get into some issues.

Which brings me to my current predicament. I am in the middle of a transitional phase in my life. Things were utterly crazy and for this reason super lively back in college. Once I left, I saw a lot of freedom lost: I had to hole my self into my room for 7 months while I looked for a job barely getting out; now I'm two jobs into this economy and well, and things have hardly changed. Alas, I have bitten more than I can chew, and have been left with inflexibility as a punishment. Oh, how I miss the days of irresponsibility.

So now I have all this time, to ponder at the many different states of life I've currently forfeited, and received. Starting with the office culture I am currently criticizing, of course. My biggest fear? Getting to the point where none of this bugs me. How many of the people around me thought the same way I do when they were my age? Will this progress? Can I be ever-vigilant? I guess these "professional" aesthetics are the design requirements for streamlined efficiency. What a cost we pay to be well fed.