Binightly check up.

Just reporting in. Two weeks into my web designing endeavor, I'm beginning PHP. I've more or less gotten XHTML under my thumb, and I look forward to the eventual understanding of PHP and ultimately RUBY. This weekend however, I'm going to begin putting the website together. I don't feel comfortable not yet having a stable structure online to work with. So I'm gonna get all of that online, and then dive into the scripting language.

On a side note, I had a very warming conversation with my best friend tonight. Life's treating him pretty rough right now, and I'm worried, but ironically enough he's worrying about the stresses in my life as well. Sadly, I asked him to see if he could get me a job at the security post, and my mom is saying No on it. I'm trying to teach myself these programming languages, but it would be so much easier if I had a steady income. No one ever said life would be easy.

My dog Jack, he's also getting older. It's sad to see him like this, having been so energetic his entire life. Age happens to the best of us I guess.

Turning to brighter ideas, I think I had a good day with Kat tonight, which was overdue.


There is a fire not so far from us, so I suppose that's maybe one more danger, but I'm hoping they're going to find a way to contain it. This is the second time this Summer that my house has come under threat of flame. Here's to hoping there'll be no need to evacuate.

Ups and downs. Life is progressing and I can't complain. I'm not where I want to be; I'm not helping people; I'm not contributing to the continuity and stability of our future, but I am moving, which is maybe just as important.

Many nights DTC

Addison.

Movin on up.

Today I finally got my practice web page up and running. I look forward to getting these things to run more efficiently than the rest of the folks who're using wysiwygs, and/or those who just don't know how to harness the strengths of html/css; what's a little more is I look forward to getting paid for making these things run. If luck holds up, I would love to make a living off of this, or at least pay some of my bills.

For whatever reason, there were two flies in my room for the vast majority of today, and they really annoyed the hell out of me constantly crashing into my face towards the evening. I finally made use of my copy of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations, but even then, it took me 30 minutes. I'm not one to kill a living creature purposefully, but they really were asking for it. I gave my nod to a noble fight before I landed each final killing blows; it'll have to be enough.

Did I mention I have pulsatile tinnitus? It's a periodic thud that comes to visit my innermost ear. Likely causes in my case are related to high blood pressure. I need to chill out and exercise more. Stress has been a killer since I graduated highschool. Hopefully this Web Design business will allow me to relieve some stress. If not, I really need to find a tibetin monk, or something.

Many nights DTC,

Addison

thump thump

This just in: I have Pulsatile Tinnitus. Well, not officially in, but I'm pretty sure it's legitimate. I'm not yet sure of the underlying cause, but it's bearable right now. I have to restart living the healthier life. Bed early, exercise, better diet. Simple isn't it? I'm counting on it. most often it seems like my condition is a result of some sort of cardio vascular issues, so I even had myself a glass of red wine tonight. Here's to perseverance.

Many nights DTC,

Addison.

Kinda Fell Off

Okay, so I fell off the wagon for a bit. But I'm here and writing to salvage what's left. I find that prioritizing things-to-do happens to be my weakest point, or at least one of the many others that I have. Typically I'm the kind of guy that needs to focus intensely on a project in order to get anything done, because breaking up momentum for me tends to really diminish my efficiency.

I have a new job! Contract really, as it's only a 1 time gig and it shouldn't take much longer than 30 days. I'm having a blast training for it. XHTML is really fun, and I can actually see myself doing this regularly. I hope there's demand, because it seems like the "useless bug" seems to follow me where ever my interests take me. Only time will tell I suppose.

I'm really aching to work out. I reeeally need to manage my time more efficiently.

Many nights DTC,

Addison.

Is this how it's going to be?

Once things start getting tough, the ball keeps rolling down the hill. I'm too tired to put up much about today right now.

District 9 was a great movie though, I'm giddy with happiness at how good it was. Wish I could write a story that good.

This'll be a short one today, as I have a long day of Web page building research to do tomorrow.

Many nights DTC,

Addison.

Long awaited Procrastination

So tonight I irresponsibly put off the final document to my Medikeeper internship. I'm pretty disappointed in myself, but at the same time, I've been going a little mad just trying to finish all the things I needed to get done for the last two months. I will be on the last of my three assignments at soon as possible tomorrow. I do regret it, but I really needed the night.

Tonight was an amazing night because I got to see a movie that was perhaps the best I've seen in theaters in a very long time. District 9. I'm going to write a review about it tomorrow for AC.

That being said, on the job front, I think I got ripped off from Associated Content on the article I anticipated the most results for, but I guess only time will tell. They denied me an upfront payment. And on a more positive note, my grandfather has made a handsome offer to me for the design of his website. It's a very interesting notion, and I will spend the weekend researching its ins and outs.

Alas, I will end it here. But first I need to say I unfortunately have not gotten many comments or views for my flash fiction "Blocking Out the Noise." Shame. I think it's a really great piece, and I even try to be objective about that.

Anyway, that's it for me. It's super late, and I just wanted to make sure I wrote something for today, even though it's technically tomorrow.

Many nights DTC,

Addison.

When the going gets tough...it gets tough

Well, I've earned my first 1.20$ since graduation, and it's only been 2 months. Thanks for my degree UCLA! I'm kidding. I actually haven't even received my degree in the mail yet. Kind of a bummer. I bet I'm gonna have to fix something there.

Nothing 'just works' these days. There's always an obstacle ready to block my path the moment I gain any momentum-hmm, I wonder if the connection between those words is legitimate or just coincidence. Now my printer is mysteriously not working. "Error Printing," it says...Error what?! Error communicating, driver error, error making sense? I don't even know where to start looking. Just barely dipping my toe into the info pool that is the net, I got a flood of useless information that ultimately led me back to square one after an hour's worth of searching.

Moving on, it seems I'm not the only one having hard times. My best friend keeps warning me of his impending bankrupcy. I'm not I know what that's going to mean for him, but it sucks because I know how debilitating adversity can be once it starts to pile up.

This economy is awful. Ford hasn't been up since I've bought some of its shares, and Blizzard went up before I could get into those. Ugh. Let's not get into the details on my dabbling in the stock market. It's a fixed amount that I'm using--all of which came as a gift from graduation-95% of which was already in stocks.

I want to complain about the economy, or the mentalities that put us into such dire times, but what good will it do? Best I can do is try and lead by example. Sometimes you can't tell people the write thing to do, you can only show it, and pray to whatever's listening that their eyes are half opened.

My relationship is somewhat hurting too. I'm not worried, and I think she understands, but she has had to see a drastic change in my overall demeanor for the worse. Given that there are no jobs in sight, I can't see this ending any time too soon.

Well, that's my day. Soft evening.

Addison.

Against the Grain

So I went to the local school district HQ and picked up a few job applications, one of which is a position for "custodian." No one around me seems to be thrilled that I would consider this job. I've told my best friend, my girlfriend, and my mother about it, and their reactions ranged from an awkward silence to suggesting against it. Now, on the first impressions, I was a little hesitant too; almighty pride made it difficult for me to "step down to that level."

You see, graduating from one of the top Universities in the world comes with quite the set of expectations. But A. I didn't come out with the most highly valued degree, and B. jobless is jobless, can I really afford to be picky? Fine, I have family and a house that are will to support me until these harsher days are past, but does that mean I should only aim high, and ignore low?

I'm trying to be humble--to not act as if this is below me; after all, why should Janitors get such a bad rap? This society rides on the backs of those willing to take the jobs no one else wants, and they should get nothing but respect for it. But is there some other rationale for this being a mistake? Can there be an argument strong enough to turn my eyes away from such a consideration?

So be it.

So I know how I will differentiate the use of my two new urls. This blog is merely going to be a personal record of events and or thoughts. The other address, the vowel page (you see this page is blcldgry.blogspot.com, which is basically the same as the other one but with all vowells removed) will be a hub for all things I deem professional. Just wait and see: being jobless that's gonna make the other blog a ridiculously scattered attempt at coherence; but I'm hoping not.

Many nights DTC,

Dansid.

Holy Hell!

It's amazing how I can have an entire world wide web of information at my fingertips, yet still waste an hour and a half chasing a wild goose. Alas, I give up for now and must take this URL.
I'm just going to say that if it's deleted, it should be deleted for good. There should be no way to "undelete" it. Gyaar!